technical difficulties

Due to unforseen technical difficulties. I will be doing double duty to get you all caught up on my life's happenings within the next few days. Computer use is at a minimum and I've been kept running nearly non-stop for the last week! Point in case, I'm on the computer 1:40 am typing THIS when I should be sleeping as we are off to the capital city of Slovenia which I'm not even gonna try to spell. Then as soon as we get back from that we are off to a music festival. So, keep your eyes peeled for the new link cuz it might be up sooner than you think. Even if I have to stay up all night to do it! yeah right! Til then....dueces!

Whoopi Goldberg?

In talking with the Hinds, Jones and Kydd families today it was decided that the one and only Whoopi Goldberg should play me in my life's story! What the hell is that about?  I tried to see the rationale in that selection as I'd chosen Angela Bassett to play me if need be.  Who can honestly shoot for Taraji or Halle these days? No one, that's why I picked for the more acceptable choice of Angela.  I would like to think and I kinda pray that they've chosen Whoopi for her comic timing and general hilarity, not the fact that she and I have a scarily similar hairdo.  God, I hope it's because of the humor!  Even talking with them later about this, they all STILL agreed that that would be the be actress to play me, so I guess it is Whoopi indeed...that is if Angela is not available.  Til next time.....Dueces!

A Stark Reality

My friend in England just told me today that the women in England are not given their first gynecologic exam until their 25th birthday! That is so completely shocking and scary to me, I can hardly think straight. The amazing amount of women who's lives might be saved by early detection is unimaginable. We were also just discussing mammography too. It turns out that they are not allowed a mammogram until age 50.  That is just as unbelievable too.  The men are not to be left out either, turns out my friend has been having a bit of trouble with his ummmm.....business and this could potentially be something serious but he has not been able to get an appointment for a few weeks from his first complaints.  I would be interested in finding out their cancer rates. 
I am a Health Teacher... ha ha ha ha ha.
Now for a bit of  "comic" relief.  The difference between America and England with regards to exploitation of idiocy is maybe not such a jump. Recently, a young lady was high on some Benzo Fury running naked through their local Tesco grocery store.  This morning this chick was on a show similar to our Today show.  Plus, the news reports on-line have included numerous pictures of this young lady with her breasts prominently displayed.  It seems that she, and her drug induced frenzy has now guaranteed her at least a spot on Page 3 if not surefire infamy.  I think at least in the states, they would have posted her mug shot instead of the sexy shots of her in the reports of the story.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2159650/Benzo-Fury--10-legal-high-Katie-Wilson-19-parade-naked-Tesco.html

In defense of Madonna, Tina and Kathleen Turner

I know you are like: "What the hell"? What is this all about? After being in England for less than three days I found myself speaking with a weird diluted American "accent".  I can completely understand why those above mentioned ladies have grown accustomed to speaking in that questionable accent.  I figure it is because we find that our "accent" seems to be extremely exaggerated and oddly tinged with a southern drawl.  I keep finding myself, when speaking with my friends that I am either speaking much slower and pronunciation or speaking with a pigeon English accent.  It is completely weird, but my friends are getting me back by making me say certain words and their pronunciation of the city Birmingham is an exaggerated southern tinged effort.  When we went to Birmingham they asked me to say it my normal way and then their "proper" pronunciation of Burrmingahhhhm.  Fun times for the whole family.  I have explained to them how I understand Madonna's predicament, as I've only been here a number of days and she's lived here for years.  Imagine if I lived here for a extended period, you know I would sound damn near like a native!!! Yeah right.  I just wanted to throw it out there, that maybe those ladies have an ear for accents like I do, and their current speak pattern can't be helped...it was learned.  God help me when I'm off to Italy in a few days! I have a feeling I will sound like a right confused idiot! Til next time...Deuces!  Arrivederci!

Fish and Chips

Today we had a busy day...we went Blists Hill for trip back in time to the Victorian Era.  We changed our money to the old money of the time and were able to experience the ways of old.  It was a mining area and it actually was the birthplace of the "industrial revolution" Very educational!  Billy even went into a bar and asked for a lager and the barman looked at him like he was crazy.  He explained to him that there was no lager in Victorian times so Billy had to settle for a cider instead.  We had some delicious fish and chips there too, so good in fact that I was not able to finish my food and am going to eat the rest in a matter of minutes as a matter of fact.  I've also been treated to cream team dinner of scones with sultanas, raspberry jam and double cream along with a glass of Pimms as an "appetizer". 

The funniest thing about England is that the weather is cold here...although they think that 60 degrees is HOT, I know HOT and 105 degrees is hot, and that's how hot Tucson was today.  Kinda thankful I missed that one while I was rockin' my hoodie while we were playing tourists. 

Mexican.....NY Style Pizza

You are now looking at the Mexican Food section of Morrison's in England.  This is a large grocery store and while they have a very diverse population in England, Mexicans are not part of that group.  I just happened to catch a commercial on T.V that actually had a mariachi band on there advertising for Doritos! Talking about: Make it Mexican-Make it Doritos!! What the hell!  I was supposed to make them an authentic Mexican meal of Enchiladas and rice, but when I saw this section I knew that was NOT going to happen. I stood there for like 10 minutes trying to figure out what I could do, and then decided that I would slap myself out of shame for producing anything from this sorry selection! And then I found a damn NY Style Pizza that had the nerve to have Pastrami and damn PICKLES on it! I wish a New Yorker would! Really....

Soup Kitchen for 1?

We went into Staffordshire with Dawn's Grandma and it was really nice.  Staffordshire is a small town with great charm.  The day before when we were hanging out with her grandma she had mentioned something about she had her friend were going to eat at the soup kitchen.  My thinking of a soup kitchen is not the same as what we found when we went to The Soup Kitchen. It turns out it is a very nice restaurant with excellent service.  I had a great meal of roast chicken and a jacket (baked) potato followed by a delicious chocolate brownie with ice cream.  Gillian took me to Graham's fire station and got to meet the boys and see all of their fire trucks.  It was cool.  They actually got a call as we were leaving.  We then walked around the sleepy town-EVERYTHING was closed including the grocery store.  That was crazy!  Til tomorrow....Dueces!

OMG!!!

Today started off well...well Saturday did.  Chelsea got me to the airport on time and after I checked in I sat down to play with my phone I realized that my phone was still in the car.  I tried to call Chelsea but realized that I don't know her number.  I tried to call my phone, and what I thought was Chelsea's number to no avail, and I even called my mother to see if she would call the kid for me...no answer.  I finally tried my house phone and they were there.  Chelsea said she would be right there so I went out and waited.  15 minutes before my flight she finally pulled up with my key.  As I made my way back to my gate, nearly in a sprint I made it to my gate just before the ladies were going to page me! \Ugghh!  The flight was largely uneventful except for the horrible crap they tried to pass off as FOOD.  Dinner was a fiasco of Southwest Chicken with mushy rice.  Breakfast the next morning was damn near CRIMINAL! They served a monstrosity of and English \muffin egg sandwich in which the eggs had peppers and tasted of vinegar! \No one around me ate a bite of that mess...settling for the lone unripened banana instead. 
When we got to Rugeley, we went to Dawn's mom's house to celebrate her mom Gillian's birthday and Father's Day for both Billy and Graham.  We had an awesome traditional Sunday Roast dinner complete with homemade cheesecake made by Dawn's grandma.  We were all stuffed like pigs! What a great day! Til tomorrow-Deuces!

Crooked back

The start of my marathon day was at the Aragon Chiropractor.  Where he proceeded to tell me that my spine is crooked as shit!  That I lean forward like some damn cro magnon and that I will be hunched over in my old age....IF we don't do something now!  He did however, tell  me that my muscle tone is awesome!  I ended my day finding out that my car repairs are gonna cost me upwards of $1000! What the hell!  I guess I better kick up my side hustles and get that money! Oh, and then I began my marathon cooking session that consisted of me preparing every dish I could think of so my kid will not have to cook for the next couple of weeks.  My freezer is ridiculous right now. But honestly there's something pretty great about having your food already to go-I should do this more often! Do you cook like that? Take a weekend to prepare the week's meals? It's really kinda smart for us busy dames you know....give it a shot, you just might be on to something.  Note to self....buy stock in freezer bags! :) Dueces

What a day!!!

My goodness today was a busy one! I must however first mention an update on BBW from last night's reunion episode. Evelyn and Jennifer made up!!! Not a dry eye in the place (or absence of  sideways glance). It was refreshing to see them make up but I still wonder if it was just to save their paychecks.  Either way...my new favorite reality love is CHICAGOLICIOUS! That show is ridiculous! It makes Jerseylicious look like child's play and I LOVE it!
After dealing with a crook in my neck for forever, I finally decided that this must be taken care of before I get on a plane on Saturday for an international flight and this neck is nothing too nice right now.  I had to take my car to the shop for some routine maintenance also in preparation for my trip. I dropped it off this morning, took the bus home and walked my happy ass to the chiropractor's office about 2 miles from my house (might be a slight exaggeration). Did I mention it was 9am and probably 90 degrees by that time.  I got to the appointment all sweaty and crooky wanting neck relief asap. It was hot as hell in that office damn it! But what was I gonna do?  There is nothing like the skills of a chiropractor or massage therapist! Their hands are guided by God and they do great work.  I love them with all my heart!  After my appointment thanks to my awesome Groupon.com certificate I got (I get an exam and 4 adjustments for $49)! Beat that!  I love me some Groupons baby!  Get on that Groupon bandwagon and save yourself some moolah too!
This afternoon I had the great misfortune to sit my butt down to finally take care of this speeding ticket by taking the class on-line. I was ready to shoot myself after an hour of trying to stay awake and attentive. I would have rather given up a coveted Saturday afternoon rather than live through the nearly 4 hours it took to complete that damned on-line class! Never again!!!! Okay, maybe I should never speed again, that's a better statement.
Now that that's all complete, just trying to figure out why the hell CP Auto Chasers did not call me to tell me my car was done! WTH! That bad boy better be done by tomorrow afternoon, or we are gonna have problems!  Wait a damn minute! That means I have to walk my happy ass back to the chiropractor's office AGAIN tomorrow! NOT HAPPY!!!!!

Must See TV?

There's been a lot of drama about violence in the reality shows we watch on TV now. Basketball Wives has petitions surfacing regarding the extreme violence portrayed every single week. I admit it, I'm guilty of tuning in and watching like we watch train wrecks and car accidents. I love me some crazy ass Tammy Roman, Evelyn Lozada, Drita D'Avanzano and Renee Graziano of Mob Wives. If but for nothing else but the crazy one-liners, the shows are pretty much pointless. The majority of the on-camera action consists of the women sitting down to "calmly" discuss their "beefs". which ALWAYS end in violence. BBW is by far the worse of the two and that is surely why they are being scrutinized for their questionable portrayal of "professional" women AND mothers. I hope there is something done about this rampant violence, because I can't,  in good conscience support these types of shows. Classic Evelyn:"You are a non mother effen factor!" (uncensored of course)! And Drita:"asking me if I care is like asking me how much sodium is in soy sauce! I could give a F!(again uncensored). Recently, both Evelyn and Tammy have come out and made public apologies for their behavior and have expressed their willingness and need for personal growth and change.  I wonder if it is at all motivated by the fact that their contracts are potentially on the chopping block otherwise? I will miss you ladies, but I am hopeful that you will find a more peaceful solution to the issues you have both on and off camera.

Camel Toe....I don't think so

I'm not sure if you all watch Duets, but on the other day's episode John Legend was rocking some seriously tight pants. I had lunch with my girl Porcia (not her REAL name, as she told me she NEVER wants to be mentioned on this blog) and when I mentioned the show, that was the first thing that came out of her mouth! We cracked up laughing while we searched our brains for what is the proper terminology for what John had going on!  Those pants, while fitting with the theme of the song (Grapevine) were appropriate. I'm sure not a Pip, Temptation, or Top woulda rocked some pants looking like that.  I swear to you it looked like a damn VAGINA camel toe! Now we are clear on how he can hit those high notes he sings so easily.  A mess I tell you!
Not to be outdone, mind you by "Young Thicke" as he referred to himself..Mr. Robin Thicke.  He, himself was rocking some super tight skinny jeans that I guess fit with his song choice too (Crazy in Love).  He too, has now cleared up his amazing ability to hit Mariah Carey type notes.  Dear boys, BURN THOSE DAMN SKINNY PANTS! They are NEVER the answer.  Until the next time...Deuces!

Two-a-days aren't just for Football players

That's right ladies and gentlemen, you read it correctly! This chick is doing two-a-days in the gym! Now that school's out for summer (sing it to yourself), I have all of this extra time to dedicate to losing all those LB's that found their way to my body in the last 9 months. That's the length of a school year....not referring to the length of a pregnancy! Although, horrifyingly enough I seem to weigh as much as I did when I was 9 months pregnant, hence the 2-a-days!
So, I'm doing all I can to get this weight off. Okay not really, because that cake and ice cream AND Oreo cookies I continue to eat are not helping the situation ONE BIT!  I don't however, skip out on the gym.....much! It has been a crazy week and therefore I missed a bit, but I went tonight and in my favorite cardio room at my local Platinum Fitness facility they were playing AVATAR. A movie I had no inclination to watch at all. I hesitated to get on the treadmill for my 20 minute run, but I did. Lo and behold the movie was near the end and I only got to watch the last 10 minutes of it while I ran. And who's gonna sit or run if you will, through a freakin' black screen with credits rolling for what seems like an hour? (See..Wolverine) Not me! 20 minutes cut down to 10 just like that.  I didn't run out just yet though, I did hit up the core area and make it happen over there until my stomach was on fire.  Now none of my gym "boyfriends" were in sight so I made a bee line outta there, past the murky pool, which even though it's over 100 degrees I hesitate to get in. Somethin's just not right there.
What did I eat for dinner you ask?  Damn May's Chicken and Waffles!  I know, I know, I'm an idiot! All that hard work for nothing! But listen! I had a great deal from Groupon for an awesome meal and I just couldn't pass it up.  If you know anything about me, you know I'm cheap as hell and any opportunity for me to save a buck, I'm all over it! Until next time....Deuces!

What am I doing here?

In this day and age of multimedia overload, I am stepping foot into the realm of sharing with the masses.  WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?! Due to making my friends laugh at my sometimes outrageous Facebook status updates, my friends have encouraged me to just go ahead and make a blog. So here it is!  I hope to continue to entertain you with my caustic wit (as a dude once told me....I had to look it up), funny stories and my general hilarity.  Who knows if that will happen, but here goes nothing!